Please Come Down
It is absolutely pouring outside. Cracks of lightning and everything. I have been waiting and wishing for this for weeks. I adore summer storms.
When I first moved to Atlanta, I’d sit out at my covered patio in the middle of a downpour, drinking wine, watching the silhouettes of trees shake against the dark blue sky.
I don’t have a covered patio anymore. I have to watch summer storms through my studio window — a golden lamp illuminating the dark room, my own reflection double-exposed against the black glass and rustling trees and rain.
I’ve spent the weekend writing and drawing and brainstorming about the rain. And now it’s here. This is the perfect way to end my Monday.
Please enjoy my and others’ rain poems.
Catastrophe is Next to Godliness by Fanny Choi
Lord, I confess I want the clarity of catastrophe but not the catastrophe.
Like everyone else, I want a storm I can dance in.
I want an excuse to change my life.
The day A. died, the sun was brighter than any sun.
I answered the phone, and a channel opened
between my stupid head and heaven, or what was left of it. The blankness
stared back; and I made sound after sound with my blood-wet gullet.
O unsayable — O tender and divine unsayable, I knew you then:
you line straight to the planet’s calamitous core; you moment moment moment;
you intimate abyss I called sister for good reason.
When the Bad Thing happened, I saw every blade.
And every year I find out what they’ve done to us, I shed another skin.
I get closer to open air; true north.
Lord, if I say Bless the cold water you throw on my face,
does that make me a costume party. Am I greedy for comfort
if I ask you not to kill my friends; if I beg you to press
your heel against my throat — not enough to ruin me,
but just so — just so I can almost see your face —
Rain by Raymond Carver
Woke up this morning with
a terrific urge to lie in bed all day
and read. Fought against it for a minute.
Then looked out the window at the rain.
And gave over. Put myself entirely
in the keep of this rainy morning.
Would I live my life over again?
Make the same unforgiveable mistakes?
Yes, given half a chance. Yes.
Drawing Process…
“Please Come Down” was one of the hardest poems I’ve illustrated. There were so many little things that I wanted to capture in the piece, but I struggled to translate my emotions into visuals. And then I struggled to meet my own expectations of how the drawing needed to feel.
For starters, I wanted “Please Come Down” and “Summer Storms” to be sister illustrations — they should feature the same motifs, include similar techniques and styles. “Summer Storms” came to fruition flawlessly, therefore “Please Come Down” needed to follow its visual language.
I also felt that they needed to be sister illustrations because they are the only pieces in my collection that are not limited palette colored pencil drawings. I don’t want them to feel like black sheep within the collection — unless it’s obvious that I’m trying to accomplish something different with them in order to serve the poem. Watercolor and graphite serve this poem, as these mediums depict water and darkness so well.
I have created six separate drawings for “Please Come Down” and countless variations on those drawings. Most of them are overworked. Some of them are pushing this vague idea to the umpteenth level — to the point where all meaning is completely lost.
It was one of the worst drawing weekends of my life because I knew that I was so close to capturing what I wanted and failing. I knew that there was nothing to do but try and try again until I got it, and I finally got it.
In the end, the piece consists of assets from three different projects spanning two years. The hand is from my comic, “Knowing Yourself.” The clouds are from a rejected illustrated poem called, “Mourning Places.” (I have since decided that I don’t like it very much so it will likely never see the light of day.) And the interior of the hand is from one of my trials seen above.
I’m really happy with the final piece, and looking forward to drawing something simple for next week’s newsletter.
Thanks for reading! If you reside within the hurricane’s path, stay safe. Have a happy week.